What is me ?

 Is it me or is it mine?

I see no difference

Is it mine or is it me

I know nothing

I treasure it as mine

But it treats me as me

The untamed emotions that I feel

They entangle me in the web of chaos

I burn

I cry

I feel

I am them

or are the mine?

I seek a way out

to put off the fire creating havoc in my fragile heart.

Meeting the Master

 I stood there uphigh

like a barren tree- high and mighty

looking down on things like some cranky

unwavered by the waves around me

I stood there just like a barren tree

Lost in my own illusions

I saw myself free

I dare not to bow down to anything

let alone to anymore

but when he came 

I stood still

I felt his coming before I saw him

his image blurred due to the falling tears

my mind longing to bask in the glory of the master 

This time, I again stood still

with my head bowed down 

my eyes glittering in dry tears

heart full of love and bliss

thats how I met my master

Keep You

I want to say 

I love you 

Coz, later on, we might be just two strange faces 

With two strange worlds 

Right now I might be a bit much more than that 

So let me tell you

I want you to stay

Stay where you are with me

It's peace with you

Someday the memories will bring joy to my forgotten realm

I don't want to wait till then

Let me tell you how much I want you to want me

The absence of it makes me hopeless

Empty, if you may 

Let me tell you 

How much I bask in your company 

Right now it's you and me

Maybe later on it will be he and she.

Right now it might bring a smile to your face

Later on just an ugly frown

I don't want to see that 

I just want to tell you

Take care 

Take care of that tricky heart that you carry around

Take care of that smile that you flaunt around 

Just take care 

Not for your sake but for others 

I want you to tell you that

I want to hold you tight

To not let you slip through my fingers 

I would do that 

I would do anything to keep you

But then it's just you 

And it's your choice

I just want to tell you 

That you own a part of my heart 

Come and live, as per your will 

No matter how crazy the storm is

You have a place to harbor 

I want to tell you so much 

That even eternity is not enough 

I just want you to know that I love you

And that changes never 

The first

It was short and soon
Like the magic that we wish for
Thousand diamonds illuminating the dark
Mind confused, what to look at
Afraid of even a blink
The shooting of the star
The traveling of the light
Making the eyes sparkle in awe 
Not the second one
The one before that rendered me silent
It's always the first one.

TEARS

TEARS

Why do I cry? 

Why do their words wretch my soul

Am I weak? 

Does this make me weak? 

Pouring down my emotions into tears

Is this weak? 

Why do I care? 

Does caring makes me weak? 

Should I not care. Will that make me strong?

Strong enough to not make my eyes welled up 

Every time I hear something cruel.

Do they know? 

Do they know what their words do to my heart?

Do they know that every time they say something mean,

A part of me weeps to make it clean

Where do I draw the line?

Caring makes me vulnerable

Vulnerable makes me weak

Weak makes me cry

I don't want to cry

I just know

I forcefully keep my eyes close, but that doesn't stop the mayhem inside my head. My thoughts trying to find a way to make sense to me. In response, I clutch my head and press myself against the comfort of the blanket. It works for me. It works as a wall between me and reality. My safe cocoon. Everything going on around me is too messy for my liking. I restore balance, I create order to overshadow the chaos inside. Not that it helps me much. Bringing my hand out of the blanket, in foreign territory, I feel chills. Chills of the winter. I release a sigh. The cold makes me think about winter. Funny season, everything around you feels cold and dead. Or maybe it's just me. The silence around me brings less comfort and more clarity. The absence of everything around me makes me participate in my own thought process. Such an alien cycle. Whether you like it or not, it keeps tumbling. Normally, I simply sit back and listen to things that come to mind. I can't even assert my supremacy, as they always are out of my reach. My control. I willfully cherish life, while a big part of me wonders, is that it? 

I sit alone. Waiting for something. Waiting to feel things that make me feel familiar. That doesn't make me insecure for every breath that I take. I am longing to feel life. It's dark outside. Still, a couple of hours before the sun dispels darkness and brings light to the world. Such a fierce thing yet can blossom the delicate life. I wonder if he realizes what is occurring to the existence that he helps to survive. He shares the warmth and leaves a dark tan behind, as a reminder. A beautiful transaction. We don't know what we lost, nor we are conscious of what we gained. The foolish grin on our faces making us look as clueless as we are. I keep thinking about it. It makes me feel nice.